Ixion's Wheel logo

The Mimer's Well

Supplement Number Three: Parmuthi the Ninth 996

Don't Let the Slavers Win!

Appalled by the vicious and cowardly raids by slavers on the coastal communities of Yapen? Feel sorry for the unfortunate Roles orphans, widows, cripples afflicted by the raids and other disasters? Like to help, but don't know what you can do?

No longer! The new 'Starfish Club' based in Gelt Town, scene of some of the worst atrocities, is dedicated to aiding these poor unfortunates in their time of need. If you live in the Gelt Town area and can spare some money or time for this most worthy of efforts, contact the Starfish Club and join up now. If you live further afield, rest assured that any donation you can spare will be put to the best of uses.

'Don't Be Selfish, Be A Starfish!'

Contact: Sean Ramsbottom, c/o The Woolgatherers' Arms, Gelt Town

Villus Poisoner Liberated by Sibs!

Anarchy reigned in Gelt Town as the Sibutani Federation brought its awesome firepower to bear on the Donjon earlier today, unleashing a merciless cannonade into the historic building with little regard for the innocent civilians of the town who ran the risk of being buried alive under debris or skewered by shrapnel.

Their purpose in all this was not just to bring terror and tyranny to a sleepy community, but to rescue one of their most highly-trained agents, the killer cook Walberguyse, whose sickening 'recipe book' contained a thousand ways to rot or burn or choke a man from within, all courtesy of his malevolent masters. The villain was recently brought to justice when the quick thinking of a young scullery lad revealed that Heitman Villus' tragically fatal case of food poisoning had in fact been carefully orchestrated by the cook, as part of a larger Sibutani initiative to cripple key defensive positions on the Pangaturese front.

The noted Major Relf, in the right place at the right time as ever, having clapped the man in irons and dragged him all the way to Gelt Town for the questioning that would have blown open the Sibs' spy ring for once and for all, could not have expected that the enemy would show their hand and come to their agent's rescue so immediately; it can only be concluded that the traitor Walberguyse is of such standing within the Sibutani secret service that special treatment was merited.

Whatever the case, this disastrous skirmish has proved one thing: that if the Sibutanis' schemes to corrupt and destroy Pangaturan from within are brought to naught, they will not hesitate, like thieves caught out in their crime, to use violence to fight their way out of their corner and so escape the justice they so richly deserve.

Willoughby Marsh
Nero Lymescale

Death of Major Relf

It is with heavy heart that I relate the sad death of the great and brave Major Relf, the King's Special Agent. He perished as he lived, heroically, leading an attack on the Sib battleship Lady Veronica, in the defence of Gelt Town. An obituary will follow {probably}.

Willoughby Marsh

More Riots in Galena

Public order in the Empire's capital has rarely been worse, with uncontrolled mobs sweeping the streets by night. There have been a number of attacks on Pangaturese business premises, prompting suspicion that religious hatred is to blame.

Equester James Huggett, the Pangaturese Ambassador at the Imperial Court, has protested in the strongest possible terms about the Gendarmerie's failure to protect the property of his fellow-nationals in Galena. Sources close to the Ambassador say he is privately furious with Hierarch Grazio, who has been continuing his programme of inflammatory Soliloquies against the Pangaturese interpretation of the Lines.

Surely it is only a matter of time before these riots claim their first casualty!

Ariel Bender

Another New Poet

A Pell Enna poet writes in with a riposte to Lars Picaro's trenchant verse.

Ode to Lars Picarosol

You write your words in lines that rhyme,
You strut your pose as a poet.
What banal and pointless lines you pen,
I imagine the whole world knows it!
To show you the errors of your ways
It's down to me to put you right.
You cannot write, you have no skill.
The words you pen are !

Nicodemus {The Demon Poet}

Critics have pondered over the obliterated final word. With what fine frenzy Nicodemus casts that unanswerable query in our faces!

Potential contributors should not be put off by the high standard of verse seen in The Mimer's Well so far. We are also keen to support and nurture emerging talents.

Martial Law in Yapen

The Domna of Yapen today announced King Geraint's order that martial law is to be imposed throughout the province, in the light of the Sib assault on Gelt Town. There will be a dusk-to-dawn curfew, and militia powers of stop-and-search and of entry have been greatly extended. Furthermore, a much stricter range of punishments is now in place for the majority of criminal offences.

These measures are seen as necessary to root out Sib spies from the island, but one disaffected townsman {who declined to be named} told me 'How's locking people up at night and cutting their hands off going to stop the Sib slavers? What we need's the Army to come over here and do some work, instead of just sitting around on the mainland!'

Willoughby Marsh

No Decision on New Heitman

There has as yet been no decision as to who is to succeed the late Heitman Villus as ruler of Northern Yapen under the Domna, the King's secretary Equester Margulies announced.

The choice is most probably between the Heitman's two daughters, Clarissa Countess Rattray and Cordelia {betrothed to the Heitman Kirkland}. Either choice will immensely strengthen one of the Cabal's factions, but surely this troubled province cannot be left leaderless much longer?

Persile Vetch


Guildhall Opening Hits Snags

With Sahela's new Guildhall approaching completion, rumours are spreading that all is not as it should be among the construction team. The project's master mason, Carrie Flail, broke her leg in mysterious circumstances, and she has now been replaced by the Samarindan Xavier Viron. Flail's assistant, Walter Ruff, is believed to be furious at having been passed over in favour of a foreigner.

'What does Darkev think he's playing at?' asked Guild Councillor Sybil Enright, referring to the temperamental architect entrusted with the landmark Guildhall's supervision. 'This building should be a crown to Sahela and a feather in his cap, yet he seems to be doing his best to destroy morale among the workers!'

Yoffy Tektos

News of Pangaturese Expedition

The great Pangaturese exploratory mission and Touring Company has been brought forward, and will now be leaving for Galiche later this month, announced Master Philip Graveside of the Royal Exploratory Commission earlier today.

'The REC, in cooperation with the Church, has found itself able to furnish the expedition sooner than had been imagined. There has been no shortage of volunteer colonists and missionaries, and we anticipate a peaceful and untroubled voyage.'

Howard Zway, rogue REC Council member, commented later: 'At last the Hierarch Trey has got her act together and found some missionaries! With the Church on-side, there's no reason why the expedition shouldn't be a success apart from the Sibs, that is!'

There is still no news about Lal Pressman, famed explorator and doyen of the REC Council, who disappeared several weeks ago. A spokesman for the Rangar City Watch would say only 'Investigations are under way into the affair.'

Persile Vetch

Blood Bat Loose in Sahela

Fears are growing in Sahela after a doctor revealed that a Nevatan blood bat has been responsible for a spate of attacks on teenage girls during recent months.

'The beast strikes in the night, through the open air, so I would strongly advise parents to ensure their daughters' windows are closed during the hours of darkness,' counselled Doctor Farley Grimes.

When asked how the creature might have come to Sibutan, and why it seemed to restrict its attacks to this group, the doctor declined to comment.

Oldest Woman Speaks

The Mimer's Well has been fortunate enough to secure an interview with the oldest person on the Wheel, Clara Willis, of Long Compton in Pangaturan. At 105 years of age, when Clara was born Michael II was on the throne, Galiche was a mere travellers' tale and printing by movable type was completely unknown. Here are some of the dear old lady's choicest gems of recollection:

Hierarch Newlands to Speak Out

The Hierarch of Gelt, Clarence Newlands, is to preach a major Soliloquy at the Gelt Town Auditorium. It is his belief that the religious faith of the folk of Northern Yapen is sorely in need of shoring up, after the prolonged slaving raids and the naval bombardment of Gelt Town.

'Despite our recent travails, we of Yapen must not forget that the Dramaturge is our kind and loving master. The fine example of Master Ramsbottom, who has come out from the mainland to help the unfortunate of our province, demonstrates that we are not alone on the Wheel,' the Hierarch said. It is understood that the Hierarch will use the Soliloquy to announce his support of the recently-formed Starfish Club. Your reporter will endeavour an interview with its leader, the mysterious Sean Ramsbottom, for the next issue of this journal.

Willoughby Marsh

The Strange Column

A brief tiptoe backwards down the trails of Time, dear readers, while we examine Strange happenings of the past. As the Wheel rolls around, we find the patterns of Futurity echoing those of Yore, if we know how to look clearly. So in response to the request of a reader, Mistress Eudora Homily of Sahela, here is a list of Deaths from Strange Causes.

Antinomus was killed by an eagle which dropped a turtle on his bald head, thinking it a rock. The soothsayer Chreston died of laughter at the thought of having outlived the predicted hour of his death. King Moritz I of Pangaturan died when a pig ran under his horse's legs, causing it to stumble. Sanzio, the Sahelan artist, known as the Master of the Ten Thousand Virgins, died of laughter on seeing a monkey trying to pull on a pair of boots. The natural philosopher Aramethes died of laughter too, at seeing an ass eat the figs provided for his own dessert. In fact the ancient painter Praxis also died of laughter, this time at the sight of a hag he had painted. Clearly laughter was a more dangerous business in former times than nowadays. Saufeius choked to death on the white of an under-boiled egg {not very Strange, true, but rather curious, and a warning to us all}.

I have been researching into the ancient remains of Northern Yapen, and hope to produce a lengthy report on them ere long. In the meantime, a brief note about Castle Villus: this is built on the site of a pagan temple of antiquity, most probably devoted to the fish-god Euan, protector of the catch, but possibly to the queen of gods Erzulie: who can say? Any remains lurk deep under the foundations of the modern castle, which was flung up by Queen Grace early in the sixth century. It is hoped that the new Heitman, whoever she is, will reverse her father's policy of stifling archaeological inquiry into this fascinating site.

Darius de Profundis
Unusual magazine

Severin to Boost Trade with Kufra

News has reached this correspondent's ears that Septimus Severin, the great Sahelan shipowner, is to massively increase the city's trade with the Suzerainty of Kufra. It is believed he is in partnership with Kristine Hamm, who has done so much to open our eyes to the delightful dainties the southerners are so adept at producing.

To this end Severin plans to build a landmark warehouse in the old Sahela docks, to be known as the Kufrish Emporium, and he is understood to have commissioned the great architect Darkev.

With the Sahelan Guild Council being so reluctant to grant exploration licenses to Nevatan this year, Severin at least appears to have decided that the future lies outside the new colonies.

Joshua Chirk

The editors would like to thank:

for their contributions to this issue.


Return to Ixion's Wheel page | Next issue